Acrylic Rain Boots.

So I'm not going to lie. Acrylic nails are killer awesome. But they also super suck, too. Because they hurt. You catch them on things, you scratch yourself with them... It's just a hot mess for the first couple of days. And it's been an interesting experience. Don't get me wrong, I love them! They make me feel weirdly... girly. Now I do my hair, and I paint my nails... But this is a little crazy.

Oh! More big news! I started COLLEGE!! Class was uneventful. Not boring, but not really exciting. I spoke to like.. 2 people.

The "Freshman Welcome Party" was pretty fun, though. I knew nearly no one there, but recognized some people from class, so I asked to sit by them, and they were really chill about it. They're an awesome group. Y'all know what this means? I MADE FRIENDS!!!!!!!!
And I'm proud of myself. But the only thing that sets myself apart from them? I'm the only one without a pair of rain boots. =]

Helmet-Hair and Yellow Sponges

Ok. So as part of my Back-to-School Beautification Process, I got my hair trimmed up. And it's sooooo bloody short! The way it frames my face makes it look like a dag-gone helmet.. It's counterproductive, really.

King's Island trip is tomorrow! And I really can't tell you how excited I am. I'm getting out of the house, and spending the day with some seriously awesome friends. Oh! And did I mention the rides?

[I've finally got a friend who actually asks me to hang out. Someone who will listen, and not try to tell me how her life is worse. It's about time!]

School starts Tuesday! I can't wait. I'm super crazy excited about meeting new friends, and potential boyfriends. Although I'm totally not ready for a relationship yet. No, Sir!

I still miss Josh sometimes. And I wish I didn't. He was a total jerk after we broke up. Oh well. That just made it easier to move on. =]

Mom's surgery went well. She looks terrible, but I'm not going to tell her that! She has a thing called a bolster on her nose, and it's just a little yellow sponge that's stitched to her skin graft. That's really the worst looking part. I went to see her in recovery, and she looked terrible. I've got a fairly strong stomach, but I nearly passed out. I felt sooo bad leaving her, but my uncle was there, so it's not like she was alone. They only had her in "Conscious Sedation", so that they didn't have to intubate her. But I think she could've used a little more anesthesia. She said she felt everything! I felt awful for her.

So things here are moving a little slower than usual. I'm thinking about baking brownies. Good idea? I think so!

WOW!

Oh my goodness! I haven't posted in over a month! I can't believe it!

Well... A lot has happened in the past while -at least the past week.

Joshua and I broke up. I got comfortable in our relationship, which I think is an ok thing to do. However, with my new-found comfort, and the craze and lack of control I felt in my life, I tried to control Josh. And we argued a lot because of it. He got tired of being controled and he got tired of arguing. I don't blame him at all.

But we've talked it out, and it's all good between us. We don't plan on getting back together, but moving on, and being happy.

I start school in 11 days! This is HUGE to me! Because this is the fresh start that I've wanted for years. Everyone in high school remembers me as the little chunky kid from 5th grade, and then the kid who was never afraid to disagree with you in jr. high. But I won't know a single person in my classes. And I'm ok with that. I'm actually really excited to make new friends. I'm pretty good at it, to be honest.

So through things going crazily wrong (Mummy's cancer, Dad's heart trouble, my sudden lack of Josh) I've had no choice but to lean completely on God. I know He has a plan for me, and that this is all part of it. I just have to know that all things will work for the good of them that love the Lord. I think I've gotten pretty darn good at trusting God and His plan.

And I've never been happier. =]

The C Word.

Cancer is a sketchy thing.
Especially when it's your mom.

Sometimes it's hard to say things. "I'm sorry" can be a tough one.
Any yes or no sort of question can be hard, because we're naturally afraid of rejection.
But the hardest thing I've ever had to say is "My mom has cancer."

It's skin cancer, which can get pretty serious. But it's Basal Cell Carcinoma.
And frankly, if you're going to get skin cancer, that's what you want to have.
But the doctors said that they're like ice bergs; however big they are on the surface, they're a million times bigger under the skin.

Surgery can do some intense damage. because if you have a spot 1 cm wide, you can have it 4 cm wide under the surface. And it all has to be removed. Then, if you have multiple spots, it can get iffy. My mom has one above her lip, and right beside her nose. That's really crappy placement.
What if it messes up her lips? I haven't kissed my mom goodnight in a long time. What if I don't get to because of her lip's weirdness?
And her nose? If it messes up her nose, what if people stare? I'd hate to punch a little kid because he stared at my mom like she was a freak. I'm 18 now, and that's illegal.

I'm not looking forward to thing whole ordeal. But I know that I have friends and family who love us very much, and who will love us no matter what happens.
And you, my followers (now this sounds like a cult). You make it easier. Thanks for reading, and thanks or praying. I love you guys. =]

Team Work.

T.ogether                           P.ray
E.veryone                          U.ntil
A.chieves                           S.omething
M.ore                                 H.appens

Ok great. So why do we act like we're alone in out lives? Especially as Christians!

The preacher at our church camp compared our churches as bobsledding teams. There's the driver and the break man who sit in the front and back of the sleds. Those are definitely important jobs. If you don't steer, you'll crash. And if you don't break, you'll crash.

Then there are the two middle guys. Once the sled is moving, they just lean in the direction of the turn. They're the support. But their main job is pushing. They hold on to the sled, and they push as hard as they can. They keep the sled moving.

That's our job. We're pushers. We're to stand behind our brothers and sisters, and PUSH as hard as we can. We're to encourage them, lead them, and simply be there for them.

As part of a church who completely backs the idea of pushing, I can tell you how rewarding it is. It's incredible to know that so many others are there for you, and are praying for you.
And it's great to know that a prayer can make a difference. That you can support someone else. It's awesome.

But the pushers aren't invisible; you can see them.
So when you are pushing for someone, let them know!
And don't be afraid to ask for a little push every now and again.

Pushers can make all the difference. Make sure that you let other know that they're not in this alone. =]

Somedays...

Some days aren't yours at all.
They come and go
As if they're someone else's days...
-Some days by Regina Spektor.

I wonder if she knows how right she really is.

Of course she's playing on the phrase "Today's just not my day..." that we use when we're having a bad day. I've said this so many times before. Especially at work. I'll be the first to admit that I make more than my fair share of mistakes at good 'ole Ironton McDonald's. I mess up an order, I hand out the wrong food, I spill 5 gallons of tea on the floor, or throw McFlurry every where. I drop things, I spill things, and I run into things. Sometimes, I do all in the same eight hours. And what do I say?
"Today's just not my day..."
And too many times after I said this, I fall apart in my truck, feeling like a total failure. So what do I do? I call Josh looking for support, comfort, love. But what to I hear? "It wasn't your day. Don't worry about it."

God bless him. He tried. And I don't have the heart to tell him that I really didn't want to hear that. The control freak in me is by now totally insane and visible.

But because I write about perspective all the time, I figured it's about time I rework the way I see things instead of just telling you to do the same.
When Ms. Pandora opened her box and played me some Regina, I reacted differently to the song.

"Some days aren't yours at all"
"Because they aren't!"

Even though I'd said those words, my light bulb didn't flicker on for a few more seconds. Then I got it. The days we're given aren't ours at all! They're all God's. He just loans them to us so that we can turn them into something productive for Him. And that's one loan you really should try NOT to default on.

So how's about it? Stop pretending that yesterday matters, that we own today, and that we're guaranteed tomorrow. Live today, and live it to love others, and love God. =]

Come Around

"Come around, come around, come around, come around to me.
There's something in between you and I.
Come around, come around, come around, come around to me."
                                                                      - "Come Around", Rosi Golan.

This song is about a girl who's love is running away. Not physically. He's not packing his bags, loading them into his truck, and driving away. He's standing in front of her, yet he's on the opposite side of the world.

Sound familiar?

Of course.
If you're honest with yourself, I'm sure that it does.
Whether we're running from people, pain, responsibilities, or our wonderful Lord, I know you've been there. As a human being, instinct tells us to protect ourselves from danger or pain. And a lot of times, we have to face things that put our hearts and sanity at risk. It's simply the way life goes.

We lose someone. We get sick, or a family member gets sick. We realize the truth. We realize what Obama means by "recession". We run from the past. Circumstances and situations test our faith and strength every day. Some more than others. Some, we can recover from. But others, we ignore.

When we ignore an issue, it becomes clutter in our hearts, minds, and souls. It eats at us. And slowly, we can let things destroy us, and our walk with God. It's a terrible state to be in. You not only turn from your family and friends, but you also turn your back on God. You question everything. You lose all potential happiness. You become cold, and hard-hearted. We lose focus on what matters. You hurt EVERYONE around you. Why would we let ourselves continue that walk?

Because it hurts. Terribly.
What ever we ran from, we now have to embrace and accept it. But the thing is, we don't have to face it alone. If we do, it will run us over. And the result will look like Optimus Prime vs. Peter Cottontail. It will be nasty.
Alcoholics, addicts, cheaters. They are often called runners. That isn't always true. They are really people who turned around, and faced their hurt. That's great! Way to go! A step like that takes some serious courage. However, they did it alone. And look what happened. The got their long ears and fluffy tails annihilated by something deep inside themselves. So what can we do differently?

Remember that wonderful Lord I mentioned earlier?
Really?
Good.
Because we're about to talk about Him.

When things hurt, we often turn away from God. When in reality, we should be running TO Him. He's our creator. Our savior. Our king. He loves us, and only wants the best for us.

But that's easier said than done. I know that. We want to fix it. We feel responsible, so we exhaust every avalible sourse before we turn to God. And by then, we've made an even bigger mess than we started in.
This nonsense could have all been avoided if we'd only run TO God, or a strong friend, or anyone!

So if you have a problem (and who doesn't?), don't run. Come around. To your family, your friends. But most importantly, God Almighty. let Him walk you through it. You can't do this. You and God, however, have got this covered. =]