"She said I think I'll go to Boston...
I think I'll start a new life,
I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name"
Yes, please.
I spent another weekend with Tyler. It was all good until today when the reality of going home and starting another week hit him. Poor baby...
But I'm sure the "loving" phone call from his mother didn't help, either.
But the way home was mildly peaceful. Just music, the two of us, and the lovely scenery that passed us by... AT 80 MILES AN HOUR. Yes. Tyler drove us home that fast. Like he couldn't wait to get rid of me. There were a couple times when I'd see a curve coming, hear his engine accelerate, close my eyes, and wait to crash. And sort of hope for it. Maybe then he'd learn his lesson.
And if anyone pulled out of somewhere and drive in front of us, he's push their rear-ends until they turned. We were flying. Which is only romantic if you're on the bow of the Titanic.
Back to the quote...
I'd rather like to run away. From work, school, Tyler, my family, my friends... All of it. But I'd take the Nissan, as it's much better on gas. I just might with some money I'm able to save up. But I don't know if I'd go to Boston. Probably New England, but maybe not Boston. I want a little town no one's heard of. That way, it's harder to be found. I'll crash in the car and work my hind-end off until I can find a place to stay on my own, or make a friend to stay with. I'd call in a few months.Maybe weeks. I'd at least let someone know where I was. Probably Mummy. She'd understand. I was to see the world. I want to do this on my own for a bit. I need to go explore and be lone before I settle down. I HAVE to do this. Some how. I just don't know how yet.
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Saturday, September 29, 2012
The Best of Feelings.
The best feelings in the whole wide world.
- Eating frozen white seedless grapes.
- Sleeping in late.
- Finally eating the food you've been craving.
- Candle-light card games when the power goes out.
- Looking at pictures from when you were little.
- Doing things now that you used to do a a little kid.
- Fulfilling expectations.
- Getting it right.
- When a Pinterest project turns out right!
- Loving someone, and knowing they love you back.
- When you think about the way someone loves you, and it just makes you so happy you can't help but to cry like a baby.
- Waking up happy.
- Waking up and realizing you can sleep for a couple more hours.
- Going home from work.
- Having your own desk/office.
- Knowing that you're important, but staying humble.
- Texting quickly, but in English (Not: hay. txt me ltr. ily.)
- Yay for iPhone shortcuts!
- The first paycheck from a new job!
- Good music.
- Being under water.
- Holding a baby. Especially when they lie down on you.
- Making someone laugh or smile.
- When you break, and someone holds you so tight you can't fall apart.
- Tasting a really good sweet tea.
- Being home alone for just long enoug to be productive AND enjoy yourself.
- Leggings, hoodies, and boots.
- Submitting the paper that you killed yourself over.
- Getting good marks on said terrible paper.
- When your plans working out just the way you wanted them too.
- Being so wrapped up in a book that you're biting your lip, playing with your necklace, or making ridiculous facial expressions.
- Playing and instrument, and uncontrollably moving with the music you're playing.
- The confidence that comes when you have a good hair day AND good makeup day. On the same day.
Tyler William Shope.
"Even when the skies get rough,
I'm giving you all my love.
We've got a lot to learn,
and God knows we're worth it."
Good morning, all!
I'm just in a good mood this morning. Yeah, I'm exhausted. But that's ok. I had an awesome time with Tyler last night. Speaking, of Ty, I just realized that not everyone knows all the things that brought us together.
My sophomore year, I had to do physical therapy for my back.
Ty's junior year, he had to do it for his ankle.
It just so happened that we went to the same place at the same times.
We never asked each other's names.
He made fun of me because I had to lie on a table and be broken in half while he got to do ladders and fun things like that. Once, my back was already so bad off that Papaw had to help me walk to the table, and I had to be lifted on it. Tyler was on the table next to me, and felt bad for me. Being a football player, he was selling those fantastic World's Best Chocolate bars. And he gave me one. We talked, and He tried to make me feel better as I was pulled apart by the therapist. And I cheered him on while he fought with a balance ball, and the tire flips. But then we each finished our therapy, and that was that. We were both with people, so we never thought anymore about each other.
[When Papaw first met Tyler as my boyfriend, he recognized him from physical therapy. We had no idea. But we started talking, Papaw asked him if he remembered giving a girl candy bars. He said yes, and she always wore crazy knee socks. Papaw grabbed a picture of me looking pretty vicious on a Bow Flex. Ty gets all excited, and yells, "That's her!" And I was like, "Well... That's me." Crazy right?]
A year and a half later, I was working at McDonald's. When we got the Summer's new crop of kids. One's name was Shyla Shope. We never mentioned family, or anything really too intense. but she was nice, and we got to be pretty cool friends. I took her home a couple times, and we'd grab a lemonade after work on occasion. She quit, and I dropped most of my hours when school started back up. So that was that.
I dated Aaron for two more years, dated Josh, and Jon once, and Justin a little bit. All the while, Tyler dated Brandi, then Jessica (that lasted all of a week). Seeing how bummed out Ty was, Shyla (Tyler's cousin!) started thinking of cool girls she knew, and she thought of me. She begged Tyler for a week to just sent me a friend request on Facebook. He finally did. Then it took her another week to get him to message me. He did. He sent me my first message two days before Thanksgiving. the next day, we were texting. we went on our first date (this was the first time we'd knowingly seen each other in person, and spoken on the phone) on December 5th. We went out 5 times that week. On December 12th, he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. On May 2nd, 2012, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes! Out wedding date is set for August 2nd, 2014. However, I'm pushing for August 3rd, 2013.
Why? Because I'm most likely going to Athens for school next year.
I have two schooling options. (Tyler and I will both graduate in Spring 2015)
Do 4 years majoring in Middle Childhood Education here, then 1 year of extra classes for alternative licensure in Athens. Making 5 years total, and 4 years away from Tyler, being married for two of those.
OR! I could do two years of Middle Childhood here, and two of Integrated Ed (let's me teach 7th-12th) in Athens. Making 4 years total, and only 1 away from Tyler.
The only catch with number 2 is money. Athens is expensive. To afford it, I'd have to live with Tyler in his apartment there. I'm ok with that for religious reasons. I'd really like to be married first.
But then, Tyler and I would lose our health insurance because right now, we both have it through our parents. That's a problem. I'm sick all the time. That's a big problem.
I know that's sort of confusing... I'm confused, too!
But it might work out. We might find health insurance we can afford. It will work out. How it will work out is still up in the air. But I have faith in God. And I know that He will still love, and cherish, and bless me as long as I stay faithful to Him.
I just have to keep telling myself that this WILL somehow be ok. In one way or another, this will work out. eventually, we'll make it through this nonsense.
I'm giving you all my love.
We've got a lot to learn,
and God knows we're worth it."
Good morning, all!
I'm just in a good mood this morning. Yeah, I'm exhausted. But that's ok. I had an awesome time with Tyler last night. Speaking, of Ty, I just realized that not everyone knows all the things that brought us together.
My sophomore year, I had to do physical therapy for my back.
Ty's junior year, he had to do it for his ankle.
It just so happened that we went to the same place at the same times.
We never asked each other's names.
He made fun of me because I had to lie on a table and be broken in half while he got to do ladders and fun things like that. Once, my back was already so bad off that Papaw had to help me walk to the table, and I had to be lifted on it. Tyler was on the table next to me, and felt bad for me. Being a football player, he was selling those fantastic World's Best Chocolate bars. And he gave me one. We talked, and He tried to make me feel better as I was pulled apart by the therapist. And I cheered him on while he fought with a balance ball, and the tire flips. But then we each finished our therapy, and that was that. We were both with people, so we never thought anymore about each other.
[When Papaw first met Tyler as my boyfriend, he recognized him from physical therapy. We had no idea. But we started talking, Papaw asked him if he remembered giving a girl candy bars. He said yes, and she always wore crazy knee socks. Papaw grabbed a picture of me looking pretty vicious on a Bow Flex. Ty gets all excited, and yells, "That's her!" And I was like, "Well... That's me." Crazy right?]
A year and a half later, I was working at McDonald's. When we got the Summer's new crop of kids. One's name was Shyla Shope. We never mentioned family, or anything really too intense. but she was nice, and we got to be pretty cool friends. I took her home a couple times, and we'd grab a lemonade after work on occasion. She quit, and I dropped most of my hours when school started back up. So that was that.
I dated Aaron for two more years, dated Josh, and Jon once, and Justin a little bit. All the while, Tyler dated Brandi, then Jessica (that lasted all of a week). Seeing how bummed out Ty was, Shyla (Tyler's cousin!) started thinking of cool girls she knew, and she thought of me. She begged Tyler for a week to just sent me a friend request on Facebook. He finally did. Then it took her another week to get him to message me. He did. He sent me my first message two days before Thanksgiving. the next day, we were texting. we went on our first date (this was the first time we'd knowingly seen each other in person, and spoken on the phone) on December 5th. We went out 5 times that week. On December 12th, he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. On May 2nd, 2012, he asked me to marry him, and I said yes! Out wedding date is set for August 2nd, 2014. However, I'm pushing for August 3rd, 2013.
Why? Because I'm most likely going to Athens for school next year.
I have two schooling options. (Tyler and I will both graduate in Spring 2015)
Do 4 years majoring in Middle Childhood Education here, then 1 year of extra classes for alternative licensure in Athens. Making 5 years total, and 4 years away from Tyler, being married for two of those.
OR! I could do two years of Middle Childhood here, and two of Integrated Ed (let's me teach 7th-12th) in Athens. Making 4 years total, and only 1 away from Tyler.
The only catch with number 2 is money. Athens is expensive. To afford it, I'd have to live with Tyler in his apartment there. I'm ok with that for religious reasons. I'd really like to be married first.
But then, Tyler and I would lose our health insurance because right now, we both have it through our parents. That's a problem. I'm sick all the time. That's a big problem.
I know that's sort of confusing... I'm confused, too!
But it might work out. We might find health insurance we can afford. It will work out. How it will work out is still up in the air. But I have faith in God. And I know that He will still love, and cherish, and bless me as long as I stay faithful to Him.
I just have to keep telling myself that this WILL somehow be ok. In one way or another, this will work out. eventually, we'll make it through this nonsense.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
A Whole New World ♫
I really hope you sung that in your best Princess Jasmine voice.
I'm sitting the The Rotunda, and between listening to the annoying conversations going on...
("Dude... you know that if you play C.o.D on X-Box Live that people are hacking your servers...)
("No!!! There's no way she's sleeping with him! That's like.. totally gross!")
... I'm planning how we'll decorate for the reception! That's always fun... Well, it is for a few minutes, then it just gets stressful.
Thus, I'm blogging. Finally.
While I'm at it, I'll go ahead and post mine and Tyler's schedules while I'm at it.
- Psychology 3:30-4:50
- Political Science 5:30-8:20
- Sociology 12:30-1:50
- Work 3:00-6:00
- Psychology 3:30-4:50
- Sociology 12:30-1:50
- Work 3:00-6:00
- Math (Lecture) 7:30-8:25
- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Math (Recitation) 11:50-12:45
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
- Physics (Laboratory) 3:05-4:55
- Engineering Technology (Laboratory) 5:15-6:10
- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
- Engineering Technology (Lecture) 3:05-4:00
- Engineering Technology (Laboratory) 5:15-6:10
- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
Ta-da! I totally love my schedule. Tyler's... Not so much. However, he'll be home Monday evenings and Tuesday's, Then again Friday afternoons, and all weekend until Sunday night after church. So that's really not bad.
Another new thing going on... Dad's really sick. He's in KDMC's ICU on a ventilator. It's not good.
But in the wise words of Forest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
So there's tons of new stuff going on since my last post. Most good, some... Not so much. But, we love, serve, and trust God. Then go forward.
I'm sitting the The Rotunda, and between listening to the annoying conversations going on...
("Dude... you know that if you play C.o.D on X-Box Live that people are hacking your servers...)
("No!!! There's no way she's sleeping with him! That's like.. totally gross!")
... I'm planning how we'll decorate for the reception! That's always fun... Well, it is for a few minutes, then it just gets stressful.
Thus, I'm blogging. Finally.
While I'm at it, I'll go ahead and post mine and Tyler's schedules while I'm at it.
Kelsey’s Fall 2012 Schedule.
Monday.
- Work 8:00-12:00- Psychology 3:30-4:50
- Political Science 5:30-8:20
Tuesday.
- English 9:30-10:50- Sociology 12:30-1:50
- Work 3:00-6:00
Wednesday.
- Work 8:00-12:00- Psychology 3:30-4:50
Thursday.
- English 9:30-10:50- Sociology 12:30-1:50
- Work 3:00-6:00
Friday.
- Work 10:00-4:30- Math (Lecture) 7:30-8:25
- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Math (Recitation) 11:50-12:45
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
- Physics (Laboratory) 3:05-4:55
- Engineering Technology (Laboratory) 5:15-6:10
Tuesday.
- No Class
Wednesday.
- Math (Lecture) 7:30-8:25- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
- Engineering Technology (Lecture) 3:05-4:00
- Engineering Technology (Laboratory) 5:15-6:10
Thursday.
- Physics (Recitation) 10:30-11:50
Friday.
- Math (Lecture) 7:30-8:25- Physics (Lecture) 10:45-11:40
- Mechanical Engineering (Lecture) 2:00-2:55
Ta-da! I totally love my schedule. Tyler's... Not so much. However, he'll be home Monday evenings and Tuesday's, Then again Friday afternoons, and all weekend until Sunday night after church. So that's really not bad.
Another new thing going on... Dad's really sick. He's in KDMC's ICU on a ventilator. It's not good.
But in the wise words of Forest Gump, that's all I have to say about that.
So there's tons of new stuff going on since my last post. Most good, some... Not so much. But, we love, serve, and trust God. Then go forward.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Wow. It's been a long time since I've actually posted anything. I'm at work. All alone. I think there may be one other person in the entire building. But I've got my Top 40 Countdown playing, and I'm pinning like a pro.
It's graduation season, and for the past two years, and this year, it's eventful. Two years ago, Brad, and my friends in the grade above me graduated. Last year, I graduated. This year, It's Becca's turn to cross the stage, not to mention my nephew, Justin! Also, Ty's lovely cousin, Shyla, graduates from Collin's Career Center and Rock Hill this year! That's beastly.
I'm really proud of them all. I know that they've had to work hard, and put up with some not-so-awesome teachers. But they did it!
Another big announcement! Tyler and I are getting married! How exciting is that?!!? But for all the motherly types who read this, don't worry. We've set the date for September 12th. 2015. We'll both graduate that spring, and Ty might graduate a little earlier. That way, we'll hopefully both be settled in jobs (Tyler has one waiting on him) and a place to live. That's important.
I'm really not good at this wedding planning thing. We bought a wedding planning book/guide/HELP ME thing, but the tiniest things get me so worked up. I think about flowers, and a cake, and a dress, and bridesmaid dresses, and decorations, and potential help and complications, and music, and dancing, and I seriously want to pull my hair out. But then I think about the vows (write or repeat, or both?), and out first kiss, and dancing with my dad, and Tyler, and seeing Mummy cry, and Becca's speech, and I just lose it. It's like my emotions are on overdrive. I physically can't do it. I either cry because I'm totally overwhelmed, or because I'm so excited, and happy, and all that smushy-gushy, lovey-dovey stuff.
I've got some stuff ready to go. We know what general colors we want. Navy blue and silver, because that's what we were wearing on our first date. Cheesy, right? Good!
We know that we really want to get married at the church, and have Matt do it. We should maybe talk to him about that...
Anyway! We're thinking about having the reception at the rotunda here at school. Because it's big enough for everyone, we can have dancing, and it could be really pretty. Put the dance floor in the middle, the bridal party's table on the stage, and I can throw my bouquet off the balcony!
That's even if I want to throw it. I really want to have a brooch bouquet, but the START at $350. I'm thinking about maybe doing silk flowers with just a few brooches. But we'll see.
Tyler asked me the other day if I should be looking at dresses. Funny, isn't he?
Also, I have my wedding party generally ready to go. My bridesmaids will most likely be:
That's all I've got for now. It really is overwhelming. But I've got around three years to get everything ready and good to go. Lord help us.
It's graduation season, and for the past two years, and this year, it's eventful. Two years ago, Brad, and my friends in the grade above me graduated. Last year, I graduated. This year, It's Becca's turn to cross the stage, not to mention my nephew, Justin! Also, Ty's lovely cousin, Shyla, graduates from Collin's Career Center and Rock Hill this year! That's beastly.
I'm really proud of them all. I know that they've had to work hard, and put up with some not-so-awesome teachers. But they did it!
Another big announcement! Tyler and I are getting married! How exciting is that?!!? But for all the motherly types who read this, don't worry. We've set the date for September 12th. 2015. We'll both graduate that spring, and Ty might graduate a little earlier. That way, we'll hopefully both be settled in jobs (Tyler has one waiting on him) and a place to live. That's important.
I'm really not good at this wedding planning thing. We bought a wedding planning book/guide/HELP ME thing, but the tiniest things get me so worked up. I think about flowers, and a cake, and a dress, and bridesmaid dresses, and decorations, and potential help and complications, and music, and dancing, and I seriously want to pull my hair out. But then I think about the vows (write or repeat, or both?), and out first kiss, and dancing with my dad, and Tyler, and seeing Mummy cry, and Becca's speech, and I just lose it. It's like my emotions are on overdrive. I physically can't do it. I either cry because I'm totally overwhelmed, or because I'm so excited, and happy, and all that smushy-gushy, lovey-dovey stuff.
I've got some stuff ready to go. We know what general colors we want. Navy blue and silver, because that's what we were wearing on our first date. Cheesy, right? Good!
We know that we really want to get married at the church, and have Matt do it. We should maybe talk to him about that...
Anyway! We're thinking about having the reception at the rotunda here at school. Because it's big enough for everyone, we can have dancing, and it could be really pretty. Put the dance floor in the middle, the bridal party's table on the stage, and I can throw my bouquet off the balcony!
That's even if I want to throw it. I really want to have a brooch bouquet, but the START at $350. I'm thinking about maybe doing silk flowers with just a few brooches. But we'll see.
Tyler asked me the other day if I should be looking at dresses. Funny, isn't he?
Also, I have my wedding party generally ready to go. My bridesmaids will most likely be:
- Becca will be my maid of honor.
- Halie Sanders. My. Best. Friend.
- Allison Literal. Because she's amazing, and I love her dearly.
- Sarah Shope. That's Ty's darling little sister.
- David Radcliff. Tyler's best friend in the whole world.
- Casey Steed..
- I'm not really sure who the other two will be. We've talked a bit about it, and It'll perhaps be his cousins Andrew and Jay, but that's if they're not taking pictures and doing the video. Otherwise, Probably his friends Luke and Tyler G. We call him Sir.
- His cousin Allie, and god-daughter Nevaeh will be our flower girls.
- His cousin Josiah will be the ring bearer
- Hopefully, his cousin Zion, and my cousin Lucas will carry a "Here comes the bride" banner before I walk down.
That's all I've got for now. It really is overwhelming. But I've got around three years to get everything ready and good to go. Lord help us.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Things I Wish Were True.
I've found myself wishing a lot. Not for material things, but for truths. For things that seem impossible to be completely true. Today, I decided to make a list.
- My hair loves being crushed, fried, and pulled between two 410 degree ceramic plates.
- Maybe then it would listen, and not frizz, and give me Einstein-esque fly aways.
- Nail polish does not show up on your skin.
- Wouldn't life be so much easier?
- My truck gets 45 MPG.
- Even 25 MPG would be great.
- Gasoline is no more than $2.00/gallon.
- Hello!!! What real person wouldn't want that?? (John W. Clark doesn't count.)
- Given the two circumstances above, Mummy pays for gas.
- Given the above, I no longer have to work at McDonald's.
- Grease unclogs arteries.
- A bit of chub on a size 14 looks awesome.
- Guys are the one who have to do their hair and make-up.
- This would totally cut 45 minutes off my morning time. I could easily sleep for an extra 45 minutes. It would be hard, but I think I could do it.
- Guys take birth control. We don't have to worry about it.
- OMG!!! It's true!! Well... Almost.
- Bathroom stalls all have doors that open out.
- The "boyfriend" smell never wears off of his hoodie when you have it.
- Yes, faithful readers, there is a Santa Clause.
- High school alumni can still participate in marching band.
- The voice I hear in my head is what everyone else hears when I talk or sing.
- Preferably the one I hear in the shower. =]
- My wallet (Cash flow) has the same properties as Marry Poppins's bag.
- I still color princess coloring books while Mummy reads me Corduroy.
- Wait... That's true...
- It's going to be easy sailing when Ty goes off to Athens.
- Elevators and on-hold lines played Holst, Chopin, and Whitacre.
- Movies are as good as the books.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
A Total Wreck.
Hey guys! Guess who wrecked her truck.
Go on...
Ding* Ding*
Go on...
Ding* Ding*
That's right. This girl right here. I did a good job, too.
 |
| I did this with the right side of my face. |
 |
| The Afternoon after. Like I said, I hit my face. |
 |
| Up under my driver's side. |
 |
| A week out. Still not feeling so good. |
So... I'm two weeks out, and come to find out, I hit my head pretty hard. We found out that I had a stage 3 concussion. I was put on "Brain Rest." Basically, it's like when you injur any other part of your body. If you break your arm, you rest it. When you hit your head real good, you rest it. which means...
- No Tv.
- No music.
- No phone.
- No texting.
- No computer.
- No driving.
- No school.
- No work.
- No physical activity.
- No reading.
- No church.
- No hard conversation, or thinking. (I can't ponder the meaning of life.)
Basically, I couldn't do anything that would make my brain work too hard. Funny thought right? Go ahead. I know you're thinking it. I thought it, too. (Isn't that sad?)
I was a mess. Totally a wreck. (Ha.) I was irritable, moody, grouchy, mean, hungrry all the time, sleepy, and bored out of my wits. Day one was a Tuesday, so it wasn't bad. Tyler was here most of the day. But Wednesday, when he and mummy were at work, I nearly went stark-raving mad. It was awful. I was awful.
But! I'm good now. I've still got to watch what I do.
However, I've been told that I have to have my toncils taken out. on March 19th. Then I'll leave for Lexington (Ty's sister, Sarah, has a dance competition) on the 23rd. It's gonna be a long trip, full of Frosties and Loratab. Sounds like a fun time to me. Yeah... Right.
Monday, January 30, 2012
"Why do today what you could put of until tomorrow?" -Squidward.
"Yes, but what is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?" -Mr. Krabs.
Who's been there? Sometimes, I'm like Squidward. I just want to lounge around all day, on the couch with my Kindle and my blanket. I'll eat breakfast, then nap, read, and watch Andy Griffith, Looney Tunes, and Tom and Jerry. When 4 o'clock rolls around, I'll panic, jump in the shower, and speed off to class. Then, in true character, I'm late.
Other days, I feel like Krabs. I'll run around the house like Bob the Builder on crack. I'll tackle any chore that needs to be done, do my homework, then shower, and make it to class on time, and even have time to grab a sweet tea.
I'm more often Squidward.
I hate to say it, but it's totally true.
Why, even now I'm in my pajamas, blogging to you when I have Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in front of me. I have an article for Anthropology that needs to be read, and a video for the same class that needs to be watched. Mr. Krabs would be all over it.
However, Squidward Quincy Tentacles is at your service.
I'm watching the Today show.
I'm reading Virginia Woolf when it strikes my fancy.
I'm chowing down on Honey Nut Cheerios, handful at a time.
I'm talking to Tyler.
Pinterest is calling my name.
I'm blogging.
I'm about to call Mummy.
I truly am the world's most amazing procrastinator.
But I feel like I do ok.
Everyone says that you can't procrastinate when you get to college.
Ha.
"Yes, but what is today, but yesterday's tomorrow?" -Mr. Krabs.
Who's been there? Sometimes, I'm like Squidward. I just want to lounge around all day, on the couch with my Kindle and my blanket. I'll eat breakfast, then nap, read, and watch Andy Griffith, Looney Tunes, and Tom and Jerry. When 4 o'clock rolls around, I'll panic, jump in the shower, and speed off to class. Then, in true character, I'm late.
Other days, I feel like Krabs. I'll run around the house like Bob the Builder on crack. I'll tackle any chore that needs to be done, do my homework, then shower, and make it to class on time, and even have time to grab a sweet tea.
I'm more often Squidward.
I hate to say it, but it's totally true.
Why, even now I'm in my pajamas, blogging to you when I have Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? in front of me. I have an article for Anthropology that needs to be read, and a video for the same class that needs to be watched. Mr. Krabs would be all over it.
However, Squidward Quincy Tentacles is at your service.
I'm watching the Today show.
I'm reading Virginia Woolf when it strikes my fancy.
I'm chowing down on Honey Nut Cheerios, handful at a time.
I'm talking to Tyler.
Pinterest is calling my name.
I'm blogging.
I'm about to call Mummy.
I truly am the world's most amazing procrastinator.
But I feel like I do ok.
Everyone says that you can't procrastinate when you get to college.
Ha.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Doorstep Disappointment (Living la Vida Loman)
Here it is, guys! My very first formal essay of the quarter. This one's for my English 203 class. It's a "critical approach to drama." I love it. here, I was asked to examine the relevance of Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman in today's society, as well as the main character's failures in terms of the American Dream.
Close your eyes. Imagine a tired, weary man, holding his suit case, slumped posture, coming in from a hard day of work and travel, and difficult customers. You can see the exhaustion, pain, and perhaps some disillusion in his eyes. He and his sons are failures, yet his wife loves them to no end. His memories haunt him, to the point at which he speaks to his late brother, he can hear the woman’s laugh, and even see her face. If you could be a fly on the wall of his house, you would never be able to forget what you the sights you see, sounds you hear, and the pain, grief, and guilt you feel. This is exactly what Arthur Miller allows us to do in his everlasting play, Death of Salesman.
Both June Schlueter and James K. Flanagan agree that “There may well be no character in modern drama more memorable than Willy Loman… It has become a symbol of the pursuer of the American Dream” (“Memorable Willy”). The statement above was made in 1987. However, the view still holds completely true! Even after twenty-five years of change, progress, and development later, we still remember Willy Loman. We remember his failures, his few successes, and through those hunting memories, we can remember his past.
To understand Willy’s pursuit of the American dream, we must first understand the dream itself. Simply put, it is the thought and belief that life should be richer for everyone, and everyone should have the opportunity to be truly content and happy. This is what Willy Loman wants for his family. This is why he works himself to the bone. This is why Willy unknowingly jeopardizes the peace and structure of his family.
Everyone wants to own the lovely house with the newest appliances, modern amenities, and the white-washed fence. We want the loving spouse, and adoring honor-roll children. We would love to have the new Chevrolet in the garage, and the success at work. It is the true American dream life. It is what we all want for ourselves.
Willy has good intentions. He is a good man. But he has more than his own fair share of failures. His sons are failures, thus he feels as though he has failed as a father. He cheated on his wife, and has failed as a husband. Not to mention, Willy is in debt to multiple people. He can’t pay his bills, because business is not as good as it used to be. Willy Loman, once a pursuer of the American Dream, has become the American failure.
We first see a glimpse of an issue when Willy comes home early, and his wife Linda immediately fears that he has wrecked the car. While describing his fearful trip to Linda, Willy recounts, “Suddenly I realize I’m goin’ sixty miles an hour, and I don’t remember the last five minutes. I’m – I can’t seem to – keep my mind to it” (Miller 1070). We see here that Willy just is not mentally right. He has a marble or two loose. We begin to think that he just maybe exhausted. However, as we read the play, we can see that something is truly wrong.
Willy: … Wouldn’t that be something? Just swinging there under those branches? Boy, that would be…
(Young Biff and Young Happy appear from the direction Willy was addressing. Happy carries rags and a pail of water. Biff, wearing a sweater with a block “S,” carries a football.) (1074)
We are taken back in time through Willy’s memories. We see that Willy can become completely lost in his memories so much so that he honestly slips away from reality while mid-conversation.
We are told of tension between Willy and his two sons. After a heated conversation with his son, Biff, Linda reprimands Willy: “You shouldn’t have criticized him, Willy, especially after he just got off the train. You mustn’t lose your temper with him” (1070). Willy goes on to call his oldest son a “lazy bum,” and a “disgrace” (1071). But in the end, we see that the fault all falls on Willy. All of his actions have inadvertent detrimental effects. He has built his sons up so high that they became delusional to their own faults, and were blinded by what little success they had. We see that Willy tries. But his best just is not enough.
Willy is struggling with his job, as well. With his lack of training, and somewhat “foolish” appearance (1077), Willy is not exactly the salesman that the American people want on their doorsteps. When the play was written in 1949, correspondence courses were just taking off, and were commonplace forms of job training and education. Sadly, Willy neither has the desire to pursue such training, nor the monetary means to do so.
It is the stress of the painful economy that leads Willy to cheat on his loving Linda while away on business in Boston. The woman is a secretary, of sorts, for buyers that Willy attempts to sell to. She says that she picked Willy to be with, because he is “sweet, and such a kidder.” He has “such a sense of humor,” and they have a good time together. The woman makes Willy feel like the man he is not at home. But simple compliments from Linda send Willy back through time to Boston, and back to the woman’s arms.
But The Dream is something that has been practically bread into us all, and it is something that we will continue to put into our children. The need of success is at the top of our psychological food pyramid, but that makes it no less important. It is engrained into our DNA, and it is something that has driven every Homo Sapien to ever walk this earth. The relevance of Willy Loman’s quest for happiness and financial freedom in today’s society should not ever come into question.
We are all able to relate to one of Willy’s many failures. Perhaps our children are known as late bloomers, and we feel like we let them down as parents. Maybe we have been unfaithful, or even been “the other man/woman.” Or in light of the recent recession, we have lost our jobs, and can no longer be the providers we once were. Though these particular experiences are things we may never go through, the fear, stress, and guilt that each carry along with them. It is still able to pull the heart strings of us all.
But for Willy, it does more than that. It tears him apart. In the end, Willy realizes his failures, and in an imaginary conversation with his late brother Ben, decides on suicide. Willy has chosen this road before, but has always failed. Now we see why Linda was so afraid that he had wrecked the car again. Willy Climbs in his lovely car (a symbol of his dreams) and speeds down the road only to meet face-to-face with his windshield.
Willy Loman never saw his dream recognized. He left behind a mourning wife, two lost and wandering sons with no father to guide their paths, and debt that Linda the housewife may never be able to pay off.
One may think that this projects a grim future for the American dreamers before, among, and ahead of us. And it is completely understandable. The man who gives his all to everything he does fails at every turn. He can’t even grow a garden in his own yard. Nothing he does prospers. His career, marriage, parenthood, and eventually life are all demolished with the ease of an accelerator.
But there is hope for us in the New World! We can use Willy’s downfalls as inspirations to prevent our own. We can be more realistic about our lives. About our failures, and our fortes. That way, we can be more realistic and accurate while dreaming and scheming. If we know what we are good at, and what we want, we will be more likely to achieve those dreams, and to be not just happy, but truly joyous. Here we are. Twenty-five short years later, and still learning from the Loman’s.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Long Day's Journey Into Movie Night.
"I'm not running away... I'm coming home."
91 (or 93)-year-old Jacob Jankowski.
So after not having a computer for nearly two weeks, and having a malfunctioning computer for two weeks prior, I'm a little behind.
Well ok... Really behind.
Some Things to Know.
But honestly, it's an incredible piece. There is no up-front reference of what Mary is addicted to, only the fact that she consistently becomes more and more removed throughout the day. They constantly pick at each other, and occasionally, a complete fight will break out, and they always mention something from the past. it creates the suspense that such an experimental (for its time, that is) writing needs. Also, we're never given any outside historical references. There's no mention of the current president, the economy, or the Titanic. O'Neil makes it so easy to apply the play to our own lives in hopes that we'll dig up our own ghosts, and finally lay them to rest. It's incredible. I'm so looking forward to this class. =]
So tonight, Ty's coming over for a movie night tonight. Poor boy has never seen Despicable Me, Tangled, or Water for Elephants. Poor boy... But all we can do is pray. And have movie night. Well.. he's here, and Mummy is harping at me to quit blogging, so I suppose I'll post again later.
Btw... How cute is that word play in the title?! Because I had a terrible day at work, but we won't go into that. People are just rude, and think that just because I take their food orders, they can boss me around for other things, and be just completely awful. So it's been a long day.
91 (or 93)-year-old Jacob Jankowski.
So after not having a computer for nearly two weeks, and having a malfunctioning computer for two weeks prior, I'm a little behind.
Well ok... Really behind.
Some Things to Know.
- I have a boyfriend. It's wonderful. He's just lovely.
- I've started my second quarter on college. I have some awesome classes.
- Anthropology 101. It's basically a culture study.
- Geography 121. Sort of the same thing, but will have more to do with the way the region we live in affects us.
- English 203. It's "A Critical Approach to Drama". I love it. I love it. I love it.
- Math 113 (again). This time, I have a math-whiz boyfriend, and an awesome professor. Let's hope this goes a little better.
But honestly, it's an incredible piece. There is no up-front reference of what Mary is addicted to, only the fact that she consistently becomes more and more removed throughout the day. They constantly pick at each other, and occasionally, a complete fight will break out, and they always mention something from the past. it creates the suspense that such an experimental (for its time, that is) writing needs. Also, we're never given any outside historical references. There's no mention of the current president, the economy, or the Titanic. O'Neil makes it so easy to apply the play to our own lives in hopes that we'll dig up our own ghosts, and finally lay them to rest. It's incredible. I'm so looking forward to this class. =]
So tonight, Ty's coming over for a movie night tonight. Poor boy has never seen Despicable Me, Tangled, or Water for Elephants. Poor boy... But all we can do is pray. And have movie night. Well.. he's here, and Mummy is harping at me to quit blogging, so I suppose I'll post again later.
Btw... How cute is that word play in the title?! Because I had a terrible day at work, but we won't go into that. People are just rude, and think that just because I take their food orders, they can boss me around for other things, and be just completely awful. So it's been a long day.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)